Advice For Making Your Marriage Work

Advice For Making And Have A Happy Marriage

What is the secret of a long and happy marriage? The truth is sometimes isn't happy like when there are deaths in the family, when bills mount,when sickness strikes, and when there are disagreements. But that is also part of the growing process as we learn to live with and accept life and all its variables. As a wise man once said, accept what you can't change, change what can be changed.

The coping skills we need as adults are developed in childhood. Within the family unit these coping skills are fostered. Family life teaches us that for every action there is a consequence. Wrong decisions lead to trouble. When children have the support of both mother and father they can face these realities with the strength of the love that sustains them.

Compromise is also important. Children who grow up seeing how their parents work out their differences and come to compromise solutions, will be better able to assimilate this ideal in their own lives. In a family all these trials and successes bind us together.

To keep a marriage vital there needs to be time to be a couple away from the children, away from other family members and even friends. Weekend get-a-ways are a good way to put a little romance back into busy lives. Even if you can't afford to go away, there should be private time. The children can be left with a relative or friend for the day so the couple can be together. Sometimes parents forget they married because they loved each other, not simply to have children. You want to give those children a firm foundation through a steady marriage, but you also need to renew your love. Once the children are grown and moved out you will have each other as companions or strangers. It depends on how much time you've taken to spend together.

Change is part of life. Don't expect your mate to be the same person you married when you were young. As we grow and mature our interests and out look on life changes. The couple that accepts this and changes together will be happy. A marriage is a coupling of equals. Treat each other with love and respect.

As for love, that also grows like flowers. Love needs to be watered with romantic evenings and private times. In the beginning there is the romantic love of the engagement and marriage, then the special love when you become parents. There is love and respect as goals are reached whether it is a new home, a college degree, or a better job. How wonderful it is to have a companion to share these goals with and then to work towards new goals.

Understanding and compassion are important. We marry for better or worse and there will always be something that is worse. It is part of life. Unemployment, disappointment, and loss can inflict any marriage but how you handle these problems is important. Working together to over come the problems will bring the couple closer together. Each partner in a marriage should respect the other. Self-respect is easily undermined if one partner puts the other down. To keep the marriage solid, support each and encourage one another.

I've heard it takes a village to raise a child. It takes a community for a marriage to survive. Belonging to a church, participating in community activites and widening your circle of friends is all part of the ultimate growth of the couple. Shared experiences keep a marriage interesting and vital.

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